Does anyone else remember that show "small wonder?" It was about this little girl who was really a robot and lived in a cupboard, even though she had a bedroom equipped with a bed. Why couldn't the robot child just lay on the bed to recharge? God.

A forray into the stoner mind... (if I spelled 'forray' wrong, sorry, at least I know what it means...)

I was watching July's dogs for a few days and everything was going fine. I would never forget to do something that important. The problem arose when my job was done. You see, her mother came home from Texas and when I went to her house to feed them I saw her car and that was that, I went to work. All day I worried that I had mistaken someone else's car for her mothers and that her dogs, including Bella's puppies were starving to death as I prepaired lattes. After work I went back to her house and re-confirmed the fact that the car was her moms. When I went home I was still worried that somehow her dogs were starving... Speaking of her dogs, one day after i fed them I went to look at the puppies and there were only 4 in the cage and there are definately supposed to be 5. I kinda freaked out and then listened and herd a faint peeping in the distance and had to go search out the lost puppy like some biblical character or something.

Tonight I worked a closing shift and listen to what happened: at like 2 minutes to 11 (when we close) a couple was still looking around the lobby and all I could think of was great these people are going to want drinks. They asked like question after question about lattes and finally order two small vanilla cappuccinos. The changed the size after I made them and after I remade them, tryed to say that they ordered a cappuccino and a steamer. I made the fucking steamer and then some crazy ass kids ran in laughing and asked 'what is this' and held up a bottle that was obviously orange juice. They asked how much it was. Laughing they put it down and ran out. They ran back in a few minutes later while I was making a damn strawberry smoothie thing at 11:07. They put the orange juice on the counter, in hysterics mind you, and offered to pay 1.25 for it and smacked down a handful of change. My manager almost busted a nut. He was like you boys have to leave this store right now we are closed... They ran out. I was so pissed off about the drinks that I didnt know how funny what they did actually was... good job little boys.

I'm watching 'suprise by design' the Discovery Channel's answer to 'trading spaces' or 'changing rooms' or whatever and It these shows always make me want to go crazy on my house. The thing is, whenever I start something I have these great ideas but no crew-- so half way through I realize that I cant move the 'fridge or something and the plan goes to hell and the kitchen remains half beige and half brand new white. damn. I have good ideas, really, I just need a crew. That is why I need foster children... helpers!

I am going to the launder mat now, wish me luck...

John Lennon once said that he lived only for him and Yoko and that everyone who couldnt understand that could basically fuck off. At first glance it is a beautiful idea, but how does it mest with his message, or at least the message I percieve he sends. Not to say that he wanted his 'followers' to choose a particular path, but how can he put something like 'imagine' out there and then say that noone matters to him but himself and because he loves her, Yoko. Seems like the worst kind of contradiction. It's not as if I have given this hours of thought, but really come on.

Has anyone noticed hot damn hot it has been today...I went to the bank for work and it was raining but it was also like 78 degrees outside and when I left the air conditioning my glasses steamed up. damn.

Did you know Tony Robbins can make you a millionaire...

So this weekend went rather nicely. After birdman went to services for his uncle we ended up at the cabin, (we being me, ryan, baby bison and paul.... and of course our corresponding dogs.) We did the usual, smoked and ate and watched fire and wandered in the woods. Ok I opted out of the woods-wandering because, well, I have execrize. No really I think I was paranoid and already had plenty of mosquito bites. One note worthy event that I think you all will find amusing is this: I was getting ready to leave Sunday because I had to work, and as I was putting on me bra I heard Mr. Squeekers barking... not from the porch where I left him 1-2 minutes earlier, but from under my window. I looked out to see Apollo running like a gazelle across the front yard area. I booked outside, shirt in hand, only to see mr squeekers 40 or so yards away in the road barking and and chomping mosquitos. I put on my shirt and, in my work clothes, ran after him. (my two dogs had been inside with me on the leash because we were about to leave...) I think I would have caught him had not this man on a motorcycle (with an empty sidecar) passed us at that moment, sending squeekers into a tizzy. He chased the bike... You may be asking yourself why someone on a motorcycle with a sidecar would be riding on an unpaved dirt road outside a cabin in great valley, I too pondered that very question. I have not come up with any answers except that maybe god put him there so my work clothes would get muddy. Thus began my odyssey into the fucking muddy woods yelling (and at least once desperately sob-screaming, probably due to the weedhangover) 'MR SQUEEKERS' 'APOLLO' and 'WHO WANTS A TREAT' (I am just really glad I decided to grab my shirt before I ran outside) for at least 20 minutes, all the while hopping over fallen dead trees, swarms of mosquitos and lots of dead leaves that make for really unsteady ground. Once they entered the woods I lost them except for glimpses here and there, like mr.squeekers splashing around in the lake only to be lured deeper into the woods by Apollo before I could grab him. I was sliding down minimuddy embankments and everything. It sucked. Finally I ran up to the road to see if beth, paul and ryonce had come back from the general store. They were there and paul was able to somehow scoop up mr squeekers and apollo followed no problem. It may have had something to do with the fact that now they were surrounded and not being chased. If apollo listened to me maybe he would have never gotten 'lost'. Two things I didnt need to hear during/after this ordeal: 1) beth saying angerly and completely seriously as she runs into the woods to look for squeekers 'If I dont find him I'm going to loose twinkie' (as If I fucking let them go or something) and 2) Paul saying, yeah he ran right to me, with this tone in his voice like maybe I was stupid or maybe I didnt look for them, or maybe I dont know, maybe nothing cause I was really worked up, but seriously, be nice when I chase your mutts through the woods next time, damn.

Yesterday after as I was leaving work I almost ran over this man on a bike... he was riding up the wrong side of the street and traveling against the light. I checked for pedestrians and traffic that might have been turning, but never really saw him coming because he should not have been there. I had to stop pretty quickly so as not to run him over. He hopped off the bike's seat (stradeling it-- spelling?) and gave me an angry look and I think the finger, so instead of letting him pass the driveway safely in front of me, I cut him off and left him there all angry and yelling. I yelled back 'what the fuck are you doing on the wrong side of the street, stupid' as I took off. Not one minute later did I approach a huge puddle on the side of the road at the same time as an oncoming SUV. My windows were down and I got all wet. Maybe I shouldn't have called him stupid... damn karma.

Did you ever realize that older people watch the hell out of the news... they know every detail of every story. If you are wondering who to vote for or have some questions about 'weapons of mass distruction', just ask your grandma, or someone elses grandma. They wil definately have the story.

Did you know that there are anti-walmart professionals. They call themselves anti-sprawl specialists or some shit. They say that opening a walmart superstore will be the demise of all other grocery stores in the area. Kind of like the people who dress up like cows and protest outside starbucks screaming for fair trade coffee (which they sell), organic-non rbst milk (which they also sell), and so on just because they are pissed that they have nothing better to do because 'enviornment majors' might as well have not gone to college at all because their classes consist of 'protest sign making' and 'angry marches' so they cant find jobs anywhere unless the president is coming to town. These people need to walk their Birkenstocks over to somplace where their crazy yammering doesnt bother me. If big business is the downfall anything it is not capitalism... This is still america right, even after the terrorism? Fucking people who start this rhetoric unfailingly eat at McDonalds, and wear goddamn LL Bean till their preps fall off but they cant handle walmart because, why, they are successful? They hate the roll-down smiley face? They cant stomach the retarded greeters who stammer "wel-COM Tooo Walll Maarrt" when you step through the slidey automatic door... I think it's Because they fulfill the needs of their customers and do it cheaply and they wish they had majored in business instead so they could be as rich as the walmart family. Do these people hate walgreens too or is the drugstore less evil than the mega mart? Sorry if I was ranting just then... (ps do not get the wrong idea, i am not knocking retards or giving particular props to walmart in this post.)

Did anyone see the national spelling be finals? I did, and was it ever suspensefull. One kid fainted, jumped up and spelled a word correctly, but ended up comming in second to this kid who spelled his word like he getting his first blow job. He sweated, huffed and puffed his way to the spelling bee championship, and wins $17,000. Damn.

Did you know that goddamn GWENITH PALTRO named her kid APPLE. What the fuck. If I didn't want to smack her up before I really do now.

I baby-sat Michael and Gabe today (my nephews, christina's kids, i think we all know that.) They are so frekin sweet, I always have more fun than they do whenever I watch them. We went to starbucks and Michael left his back pack there, so 10 block later we had to return. We then went to the Galleria Mall so Mikey could go to 'build-a-bear.' I psyched him up about a suprise and you should have seen him building the bear. He is a little shy, so he wasn't all too keen on the woman telling him to jump up and down (to start the bear's heart) and push all these lite-up buttons while she was stuffing the bear (ok if you couldnt tell by the name, build a bear is a store where you pick out a teddy bear skin and build it up from there, you can add sounds, pick out clothes etc, great fun... not necessarily cheap when you get into all the accessories you can buy, but totally worth it, so much fun,) but he had a ball brushing the bear and picking out an outfut for him (Official, NBA outfit, of course, complete with mini basketball.) We then went to Jack Astors where only Gabe enjoyed his lunch, the food was seriously terrible, then walked all over the mall checking out toy stores, candle stores (Christina, mikey really picked out those candles for you all by himself, hope you like them, he was really proud of himself) and basically just tiring ourselves out bigtime. Ahh... I have to get a foster child or something.

You know that larry david show where he picks up the whore so he can drive in the carpool lane? Of course you do. Did you know that some guy who was in the crowd at the dogers game that was in that episode was accused of murder, and used the episode as evidence that he was at the game and no committing a drive by shooting while they were taping. WIERD.