I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to BOBCAT. I know it isn't until tomorrow but that is probably when she'll end up seeing this sooo... go bobcat, its yo birthday.

So yesterday I was eating this salad at work that I had made for myself at home. I took a bite of it and looked down before I started chewing I saw a fucking FLY crawl out of my dinner. I spit out the first bite in disgust and shock, only too see another FLY crawl out a little later. I almost actually vomited right there in the corner of starbucks. I cant really imagine where they came from... the only thing I can think of is that when I put the hot chicken the salad I let it cool for a few minutes before I closed it and they must have flown in then. I can just imagine them flying around inside my salad bowl all night shitting all over my dinner. Bleeeeeeccccchhhh! It took me like at least 45 minutes and two or three cigarettes to recover...god, i know you cant tell the horror of this story from just reading it...but it was awful.

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

I think i may have spoken too soon... I posted some dog pics like I promised, however Sprint added an automatic redirect to its own home page where you had to view the pics because I sent more than one in the post. That I could fix but now the network is down so I can't send anymore pics for the moment... This sucks but I'll figure everything out soon enough.

A wonderful thing happened just now... and my face looked really stunned and happy, well I guess you can see me below... (Normally I would never let anyone see a picture of me that looked like that but... it is a really funny picture...) I learned how to post from my phone directly to my blogg. It takes like 3 minutes, tops. Get ready for a whole bunch of cool ass shots to come. No one is safe. For now check out my Ziggy, Mr. Squeekers, Twinkie and Theodore...

Baby Bison threw away my job finder yesterday. How is my stoner ass supposed to get a real job now?

Warning this post may be gross to non stoners: If you are not a stoner read on at your own risk. So today at work I took a huge green shit. Sorry if that is too much information for you all but I did. The funny thing was that for hours I had no idea why it was green and that was all I could think about. I just kept thinking that all I had yesterday was a Buffalo Chicken Salad, two beers, two or three shots of tequila and water and V-8 splash and powerade... and then I remembered how blue that powerade was and realized that it was probably the green shit culprit. You know what is most funny about my green shit? (Yes green shit is funny on its own), but imagine that powerade commercial for a second where the athletes sweat out the color powerade they drink (bison and I had a conversation about these commercials with the Wegmans cashier just yesterday.) I want to write a letter to the company and say something like, 'well when you drink powerade its kinda like that commercial but the color shoots out of your ass instead of drips out of your pores...' At least I figured it out.

In other news someone from India named Ed friendstered me today and said that although he is married he would like to have a 'secret relationship' with me. How odd. Is this for real (not like I'm going to get with some married guy) or am I part of some mass mailing hoping to rope at least one 'secret friend.' It also said 'I am not interested in sex if you are not.' Do you think he means sex with him or sex in general?

Mr. Squeekers jumped on my laptop and one of his little toenails popped off my "M" key...so now my ibook is officially missing the m, o and control keys. (This may be the only official GHETTO Macintosh computer out there, unless you count the stolen ones.)

Well it has been kinda a while since I blogged here... sorry. I have been busy writing anyonebutW.blogspot.com. Also I have not been up to much as I have not been working so there is less to talk about.

GO JESSICA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY AND WE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY but not with bacardi. We are celebrating with OCB and narcotics and well, maybe some icecream cake. YOU GO GIRL. (Keep smiling, it gets worse every year!)

I think I might be holding my campaign party for Kerry at the one and only Fletchers. I called around to a few bars today and they seemed the nicest. Now I just need someone to donate food. I'm thinking LaNova, anyone know anyone who works there? I am so fucking scared of the phone that calling around has been like therapy session homework or something. I pick up the phone dial, hang up, dial again stammer h-hi and tell them my plan etc etc. Bison says only crack heads are scared of phones, I'm not so sure, since crack is one drug I have never tried out.

I think that is all for now, I have to file for forbearance on my student loans..kisses!

I was going to go back to Humber College in canada this week for its annual comedy workshop and on a whim I asked if the scholarship they offered me covered room and board. Last year I paid full price and got a package deal so it never occured to me to ask until today. The workshop starts tomorrow. I could have stayed on campus but the cost was like $395 and sorry but I cant afford that this year... shit. Oh well fuck it, what can I do? Imagine my suprise had I arrived all happy up in Toronto for the workshop and realized I had nowhere to stay. Unfortunately I have already taken next week off from work. If anyone has any suggestions as to what I can do with my time (other than work, i'm not picking up shifts, fuck that-- especially at other stores, I hate working at other stores) let me know. So far my plan is to drive as far as I can in three-and-a-half days and then turn around. Not sure if or where I'll be showering-- hopefully you have a better idea!