I exercized some stock options today. I feel all corporate and responsible and rich... but really I am none of those things.

I need change in my life... like the kind you can roll and buy things with mostly.

I think i may be getting sick and that sucks. This girl Tonee and I at starbucks always get eachother sick... it is like we have similar immune systems or something, and recently she was really sick so, basically I think I might be dying soon.

I hate when someone tells me they are sad and thre is nothing I can do about it.

This is a lame post but that is all you are getting... for now.

So how does everyone feel about the audio blogger? I like it because it means I can take my readers and turn them into listeners. Now anyone who reads my blog can go anywhere my cellphone can go, talk about flexability. Any suggestions on what you would like to hear me do (no I will not shit or cum on this site... )Well, maybe if you asked nicely i'd cum... can you imagine me holding the cellphone in one hand and some random mans hair in the other cuming into the phone. Am I getting too old for random lays? I am not sure I want to know the answer to that. One day I'm going to give someone my real phone number and then we will probably end up getting married... but I digress. How would you all like to hear me sing in the shower...?

I went to the dentist today. I hauled my stoner ass out of bed at 8:06 am and got there on time at 9am. Unbelievable, especially since I opened the day before and had no sleep for 2 nights in a row. I was supposed to go to the dentist and then to the eye doctor at 11:00. It shouldnt have been too much of a problem except they didnt take me into the office for like 45 minutes. At one point the nurse, or whatever she is, said 'oh noone has taken you yet?' and still I sat there for like 15 minutes. Then they put me in a room and left me sitting in the recliner thingy for another half hour. I fell asleep. Finally 4 hours later I got to leave with my teeth cleaned and a flouride treatment. I have to go back next week for a filling. I cant believe it took them a half a day to basically high-tech-style, brush me teeth. My teeth and gums now kinda hurt... ok they really hurt. The thing is, I love it. I keep biting down to make it worse. I absoutely love gum pain. No one understands why, least of all me. The man was in there scratching the shiznik out of my gums and at one point said 'are you ok' because I wasnt wincing or squirming...I thought, dude if you only knew how much I was enjoying this you would be resting your dick on my shoulder right now. Just to be completely honest and so I leave no one guessing, I do not, for the record, like sexual pain, just gum pain. I like inflicting sexual pain now and then but that is another story. Since my sisters and co workers read this blog, I will leave it at that. I'm just saying that if anyone (of the male persuasion) likes the occasional watermelon rammed up their hind end they can give me a call. If you are still reading I want you to remember that I am a comedian and you can never really know what I might say or do and that it is that attribute that most makes me worth knowing.

I was gonna clean my room, but then I got high- words by afroman, sentiment understood by all but the most diligent of stoners--angelator

About 1 year and 1 month ago I began cleaning my room. I piled everything onto my bed and then got kinda sick of cleaning and left it for like 7 months. I then went in and moved some stuff around and threw some stuff out. Fast foreward to Today... I can finally see the floor in some spots and i could definately get to my bed if I wanted to... Once I stopped sleeping in there it became a room to toss things into and it got really bad. I have like 43000 pillows. I dont know why i would have so many... I have nowhere to put them. I also have a lot of college books that I really dont need. What the hell should I do with them? I graduated in 2000, so noone is going to be able to use them now...fuck.

I was just blogging and hit save as draft so that I could help ryan put some links on his page and damn it all to hell but my shit is just gone. I hate when that happens. Oh well, maybe it is all for the better.

Whatever you do... dont forget to ask Bision about her road test. Woa I didnt know I could change the Font. Did you know that wah sing has the best chinese food in the business? I read so on their complimentary calender. I agree. I love it there. Although last time I ordered from there they left my food out of the bag and everyone else got to eat chinese and I did not. When we called to complain they didnt believe us. Fuckers. It could be because Bison and Birdman didnt notice my food wasnt in the bag for like 3 hours. It could be because Bison and Birdman ate my food and got rid of the evidence.

Starbucks has a new drink. It is tasty but you will shit your pants if you try it. It is pure chocolate and has 6 grams of fibre in 6 ounces or something. Great now even more assholes are going to blow up our toilets. Get it, assholes. Har har.

oh i was going to blogg but I think that bobcat is here, we are going to lunch, talk to yall later

Happy New Year All! Hope everyone had a wonderful night last night. I did. I suppose. I was wasted and that is what is important.

Borzillieri Grandchildren take notice, a terrible thing happened! Grandma was vaccuuming and accidentally broke her Venus de Milo bust. She is horrified, she almost cried when she told the story. It was her mothers and she really loved it. I have very fond memories of that statue I have always thought it was wonderful. And I am of course pretty sure we al remember it because it was naked and we were all stunned that our grandmother could possibly have a boobie statue.