So how does everyone feel about the audio blogger? I like it because it means I can take my readers and turn them into listeners. Now anyone who reads my blog can go anywhere my cellphone can go, talk about flexability. Any suggestions on what you would like to hear me do (no I will not shit or cum on this site... )Well, maybe if you asked nicely i'd cum... can you imagine me holding the cellphone in one hand and some random mans hair in the other cuming into the phone. Am I getting too old for random lays? I am not sure I want to know the answer to that. One day I'm going to give someone my real phone number and then we will probably end up getting married... but I digress. How would you all like to hear me sing in the shower...?

I went to the dentist today. I hauled my stoner ass out of bed at 8:06 am and got there on time at 9am. Unbelievable, especially since I opened the day before and had no sleep for 2 nights in a row. I was supposed to go to the dentist and then to the eye doctor at 11:00. It shouldnt have been too much of a problem except they didnt take me into the office for like 45 minutes. At one point the nurse, or whatever she is, said 'oh noone has taken you yet?' and still I sat there for like 15 minutes. Then they put me in a room and left me sitting in the recliner thingy for another half hour. I fell asleep. Finally 4 hours later I got to leave with my teeth cleaned and a flouride treatment. I have to go back next week for a filling. I cant believe it took them a half a day to basically high-tech-style, brush me teeth. My teeth and gums now kinda hurt... ok they really hurt. The thing is, I love it. I keep biting down to make it worse. I absoutely love gum pain. No one understands why, least of all me. The man was in there scratching the shiznik out of my gums and at one point said 'are you ok' because I wasnt wincing or squirming...I thought, dude if you only knew how much I was enjoying this you would be resting your dick on my shoulder right now. Just to be completely honest and so I leave no one guessing, I do not, for the record, like sexual pain, just gum pain. I like inflicting sexual pain now and then but that is another story. Since my sisters and co workers read this blog, I will leave it at that. I'm just saying that if anyone (of the male persuasion) likes the occasional watermelon rammed up their hind end they can give me a call. If you are still reading I want you to remember that I am a comedian and you can never really know what I might say or do and that it is that attribute that most makes me worth knowing.