Baby Bison threw away my job finder yesterday. How is my stoner ass supposed to get a real job now?

Warning this post may be gross to non stoners: If you are not a stoner read on at your own risk. So today at work I took a huge green shit. Sorry if that is too much information for you all but I did. The funny thing was that for hours I had no idea why it was green and that was all I could think about. I just kept thinking that all I had yesterday was a Buffalo Chicken Salad, two beers, two or three shots of tequila and water and V-8 splash and powerade... and then I remembered how blue that powerade was and realized that it was probably the green shit culprit. You know what is most funny about my green shit? (Yes green shit is funny on its own), but imagine that powerade commercial for a second where the athletes sweat out the color powerade they drink (bison and I had a conversation about these commercials with the Wegmans cashier just yesterday.) I want to write a letter to the company and say something like, 'well when you drink powerade its kinda like that commercial but the color shoots out of your ass instead of drips out of your pores...' At least I figured it out.

In other news someone from India named Ed friendstered me today and said that although he is married he would like to have a 'secret relationship' with me. How odd. Is this for real (not like I'm going to get with some married guy) or am I part of some mass mailing hoping to rope at least one 'secret friend.' It also said 'I am not interested in sex if you are not.' Do you think he means sex with him or sex in general?

Mr. Squeekers jumped on my laptop and one of his little toenails popped off my "M" key...so now my ibook is officially missing the m, o and control keys. (This may be the only official GHETTO Macintosh computer out there, unless you count the stolen ones.)