Dear, sweet, jesus... thankyou, on this good friday for dying for my sins-- seriously. NOw on to BusiNess... I am home from Florida, we got in the car at 7 am on wednesday and arrived in not so sunny b-low at 3 am friday.

We stopped in south carolina where I
a) Locked the keys in the car
b) locked all but one of my cigarettes in the car (I have been smoking a lot lately for someone who has quit smoking, mind you) and
c) got the low down from a very agreeable south carolyyyn-er who was walking her pug near the motel 6 in her crazy-short-'silk'-bathrobe-tanktop-and-panties combo, on just how they went about artifically inseminating said pooch... "the male was just too fat he could only thrust two or three times before falling off, and he kept biting her vulva so they ended up just giving him a hand job into a funnel and slipping it inside 'er, Boy she didn like it when they were shaking her upside down to get it all in there..." I did not make this up, ask beth and birdman. She was quite nice really I'm by no means dissing her just telling tale.

(Hmm, yeah I am talking to beth again, but I'm still a little pissed, but fighting is just not worth it, she is like a tsunami.

Things I dont understand about the south...I smell somethin fishy:
1) I wish I would have counted the number of CONFEDERATE flags I saw on the way down... crazy as a motherfucker if you ask me. We all know about my affinity for black men (and women, but not like 'that') and human rights in general so this bothered me greatly.
2) Do the cops ever, say, pull over anyone who is not black or hispanic... Disturbingly, i definately saw one particular gentleman slammed onto the hood of a police car in georgia who was crying like a baby-- i dont know what he did but i wanted to bitch slap the cop fo real. (he was probably a mass murderer for all I know, i should probably just mind my own goddamn business)
3) bumper stickers (how many I saw): "bet you'll vote next time, hippie," (1) Bush/Cheeny 2004, (too many to count, i think they are issued en mass to the people...) confederate flag background "hell yeah i'm a rebel" (1) (read, hell yeah i'm a racist...)
4) Billboards (I'm not going to even mention all the anti-abortion propaganda) 'Uniqueness-- plastic surgery' followed closely by 'Confidence is not a Coincedence-- plastic surgery' and the one that might tip the fucking boat right over... in child's script (seen only by birdman, who almost drove off the road) 'Thank god for George and Jeb Bush' Jesus H. Christ.

Time for my nap now, lots of love-- peace out --oh and please check my newest link, anyone interested in forming a chapter will meet at my house at an agreeable time for a photo shoot, I'm calling on betty in particular here...